January 30, 2024

People my age often use the words “senior moments” to describe a lapse of memory or moment of confusion. Who hasn’t walked into a room and then wondered about the intention? Sometimes the most familiar of names escape me. More and more my husband and I supply missing pieces for one another. I know the first name of someone in our history, and he remembers the last name. He can describe a movie or a book, but I know the title. Senior Moments! We laugh and are grateful once again for each other’s presence.

It’s important to acknowledge and be aware of those moments, for sometimes these moments are a sign of something more serious. Knowing the difference is not always easy, and we need to stay alert. When I make a mistake, substituting an incorrect name or word or phrase, it seems important to say, “Whoops, I should have said…,” or at the very least “Where did that come from?” or “I’ll call you at 2 in the morning when the word comes to me.” Some people have a hard time, however, saying, “I’m sorry.” Period. Some people have not practiced that skill or nicety over the years, but that is a whole other topic. And some people are not even aware that they have used words incorrectly or aren’t making sense. I digress. Another senior moment?

Allow me to suggest other kinds of senior moments. The gift of senior moments.

• Pausing to notice another new blossom on the mini-daffodil plant on the dining room table.
• Focusing on doing one thing at a time, instead of trying to multi-task.
• Letting go of past hurts and past expectations.
• Honoring my being as much as and maybe even more than my doing.
• Giving thanks for the many gifts in my life. And oh, there are so many!
• Asking myself “What is possible now?” and “How do I want and need to use my energy and time right now?
• Choosing to read another chapter in the mystery I’m currently reading, instead of cleaning the bathroom. (I hasten to add I did clean the bathroom later that morning.)
• Allowing a memory to nurture my day. I just had this flash of seeing our grandkids walking down the block towards our house at the end of the school day when they were in elementary school. Pete is now a sophomore in high school and Maren is a junior in college. How glad I am we moved here when we did!
• Diverting myself from my “plan for the day” and responding to a pleasing invitation.
• Opening my heart to the losses I feel, instead of denying them.
• Nurturing my contemplative side, spending more time in reflection and prayer.
• Appreciating this time of my life for the growth it offers me.

How sad I am when I hear someone say, “I hate getting old.” First of all, I try to be very careful about using the word “hate.” and don’t use it nonchalantly. I realize that so far my aging has been easy, compared to many others in my life. I have a privileged life. I repeat, I have a privileged life.

I know there will be harder days ahead, but hating old age negates all the gifts of the previous days and years. Isn’t there a difference between accepting and hating? Between honoring what has led me to this time and hating? Between holding tenderly these present days and the days to come and hating? Between feeling and saying something is hard and hating it?

I appreciate what Maggie Smith says in her book, Keep Moving: Notes on Loss, Creativity and Change.

I thought that what I was living was the whole story, but it was only a chapter.

p. 2

I’m in my senior moment chapter, and I intend to live it in the best way possible. May it be so.

An Invitation

What “senior moments” are you noticing? I would love to know.

One More Thing

On Sunday, January 24, an essay I wrote, “Living with a Sacred Object, The Humble Harvest Table,” was published in Christine Valters Paintner’s Abbey of the Arts. I hope you will read it and let me know what you think. Here’s the link: https://abbeyofthearts.com/blog/2024/01/24/monk-in-the-world-guest-post-nancy-l-agneberg-4/

Monk in the World Guest Post: Nancy L. Agneberg