NOTE: I am going to take a brief break and won’t publish posts on Tuesday, May 7 or Thursday, May 9. I will post my April Book Report Summary, however, on Thursday, May 2.
As always, the weekly writing group I facilitate, In Your Own Words, Contemplative Writing as Spiritual Practice, includes time for silent meditation. “Close your eyes lightly, not tightly. Take a deep cleansing breath. Breathe gently in and out, finding your own rhythm.” After six or seven minutes of sitting in silence with one another, I read the guiding words for the day. For example:
The word “orientation,” like “Orient,” comes from the Latin, orient, which refers to the “sunrise,” the “east.” If we know the point where the sun rises, we can determine all other points of the compass and find the direction we want to take. Some words can help us in a similar way. Words full of light, they beam, as it were, like the floodlights of a lighthouse and build a bridge over troubled water. Such luminous words can also become keywords that unlock new insights for us. We can learn “to think along language,” the way we walk along a path through meadows enjoying flower by flower, ever new discoveries as we go. You Are Here, Keywords for Life Explorers by David Steindl-Rast, p. 3
I then read the writing prompts for the day, which recently included the following:
“Begin by listing words on the accompanying table that have had meaning for you or seem to be occurring or appearing in your life right now….List the words (or brief phrases) without judgment.”
I end by saying, “The time is yours,” and we write for 20 minutes.
My Father’s Guiding Words
I filled in the first three blanks on the sheet divided into small sections easily. “Beloved,” my 2023 word of the year. My current words of the year, “enfold/unfold.” And a question I often ask myself and my spiritual direction clients, “What is possible now?” I was surprised, however, when on the next line I wrote, “Your day will come.”
I began to write.
My father said those four words often. “Your day will come.”
I confess I sometimes resented those words–and that he said them with such a knowing smile on his face. I heard judgment and privilege. I felt admonishment–that I wasn’t old enough or hadn’t paid my dues or didn’t deserve something. I can’t recall specific instances when his response was “Your day will come,” but I remember my impatience and my irritation. Why should I remain patient when I wanted something, to do something, to be something, but apparently MY DAY had not yet come.
But I also wondered if the day for __________ would actually ever come or would life pass me by? Would the day truly come when I would know a lasting and fulfilling love? Would the day come when I would know my purpose in life? And would the day come when I would know how to fulfill that purpose? How would I actually know my day had come?
Dad didn’t offer any answers, instead he repeated his pat answer without becoming engaged. His wisdom rolled over me, only lightly touching my skin. I vowed not to use that phrase with my own kids, if I was lucky enough to have any. I don’t think I’ve broken that intention, but you’ll have to ask them.
Now, of course, at this third chapter stage of my life, I realize my day has come–as so many days have gone, have left. So many days have been lived. Some more fully than others. Some days have passed me by. Some days have drifted away unnoticed by me.
And now this day has come.
My day here and now.
My day of becoming more of the person I was created to be.
Often when Dad was in his 80’s and even into his 90’s, he announced he was ready to die, “just not today.” Eventually, his day came. Our creator God announced to him, “Your day is here. The day of your death, your full transformation is here.”
I don’t know when that day will come for me, but now when I think of those words, “Your day will come,” I hear an invitation to use these days wisely, to live these days fully. Doing that, I prepare for the day of my own death, the day my day comes.
Thanks be to God.
An Invitation
What words or phrases have special meaning for you right now? I would love to know.
NOTE:
The writing group I facilitate meets Thursday mornings from 10:30 to noon at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, St Paul, MN. There is no charge and all are welcome. If you have interest in participating in the group, let me know. If you are not able to participate in person, but would like to receive the guiding words and prompts, send me your email, and I will add you to the list.
Along with defrocking the house and writing thank you notes–neither of which I have done yet–opening a new journal, and rereading the previous year’s journals, receiving a word for the year is a new year’s ritual.
Notice I said, “receiving” and not “choosing.” More about that later.
Last year I didn’t receive my word, “rhythm” until mid-January, but some years I am aware of my new word during Advent. For several years I made a collage to represent the word I received, but one year when a word had not appeared, I made a collage first, hoping it would reveal the word to me. And it did. “Fullness.”
(Left to right: “spaciousness,” “word,” and “fullness”)
This year thinking about a word for the year had not even occurred to me as Christmas approached.
Surprise–on Christmas Day, like the birth we celebrate on that day, my word appeared.
That morning before going to church I read the day’s meditation from Richard Rohr, “We are the beloved.” He quoted Henri Nouwen’s reflection on the word “beloved,”from his book Life of the Beloved. I have a copy of that small book, and I decided to re-read that book in 2023.
I also noted how often in recent months I have said or written to someone, “You are beloved.”
During church I experienced an overwhelming feeling of being beloved myself. First, because of my love for this community and the ways I have felt ongoing love within that community. But also such a clear voice from the Creator God, “You are my Beloved.” I felt that voice and those words reverberating throughout my whole body.
“Don’t forget this feeling, Nancy,” I said to myself. “I wonder if you have received your word.”
Affirmation
Once home the family festivities began, including opening a staggering number of presents. We took our time, taking turns, passing each one around the circle. Oohing and aahing. Grandson Peter immediately tried on the clothes he received–each one from his list. The used wrapping paper mounded on the living room floor. And then I opened one last present; one sent to me by a friend. It felt like a book, which my husband says is a dangerous gift to give me because I read so much, and it is hard to keep up with the books I own or have already read.
I was stunned when I saw the book: You Are The Beloved, Daily Meditations for Spiritual Living, a collection of Henri Nouwen’s words compiled and edited by Gabrielle Earnshaw.
Yes, I have received my word. There was no doubt. Beloved.
January 2 Meditation
In this meditation Nouwen refers to Jesus’s baptism when he hears a voice from heaven, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased (Matthew 3:17) and Nouwen says, “Jesus lived his life from that inner place of love.” He also emphasizes how those words are for you and me, too. “Once I have accepted the truth that I am God’s beloved child, unconditionally loved, I can be sent into the world to speak and to act as Jesus did.”
I have no idea how this word will become manifest in my life, and I suspect it will be a challenge, actually as each of my previous words have been, to live the word fully and openly and to accept where the path of that word beckons me.
Looking Back at Previous Words
Asking for a word has been one of my intentional practices for many years. My words have included “devotion,” “sacred yes, sacred no,” “spaciousness,” “fullness,” and last year’s word, “rhythm.”
(Collage using the artwork of Steve Sorman)
What I am beginning to realize is how each of these words continue to live in me. To nourish, challenge, and lead me. I don’t finish with a word, accomplish or outgrow it, but instead the words grow in a kind of active relationship with each other. What does it mean, for example, to maintain “spaciousness” in my life and at the same time welcome “fullness”? I know I will continue to learn the rhythm of sacred yes, sacred no.
Each word call me forth.
Each word deepens me.
Each word is an expression of knowing I am beloved and of holding others in their own belovedness.
Receiving A Word
I have heard people say, “I’ve decided my word for the year is going to be “hope.” Or perhaps, “faith.” Who am I to doubt that the word they’ve chosen is not the word actually delivered, but I encourage you to allow the Spirit to work within you; to open to the mystery.
We were made in love, for love, and unto love, and it is out of this love that we act. This deep inner “yes” that is God in me, is already loving God through me.
Richard Rohr
Happy New Year! You are beloved.
An Invitation
I would love to know your word, as you discover it.
Since returning from our Labor Day weekend road trip to Cleveland, the days have been full. Notice I said “full,” not “busy.”
For me “full” indicates choice. What do I choose to do? What do I prefer to do? What brings meaning into my life and in what ways do my choices have potential meaning for others?
“Fullness” versus “busyness” reminds me to pay attention. When am I responding from my essence, from the person I hope to be, was created to be, instead of responding out of duty or obligation? Obviously, sometimes a task simply needs to be done, but the more I open to the life I think I am asked to live right now, the more those tasks fall into place.
All that being said, during these last two weeks I have needed to use my time and energy well, moving from task to task deliberately and intentionally and calmly. And that’s the way the next couple weeks will be, as well.
As I have moved through these days, I have thought about my word of the year, rhythm, and also the flow I hope to experience.
Word of the Year: Rhythm
As you listen closely for your deepest call, what are the greater rhythms to which you must accommodate yourself.
Christine Valters Paintner
You may recall that my word of the year is “rhythm.” I’ve been more aware in the last few months of how I need to respond to the rhythm of a day–what is planned and required in a day–but also I am more able to notice and create my own rhythm.
For example, I know my rhythm becomes raggedy and I begin to unravel when I don’t begin my day meditating, praying, reading sacred texts. Doing that faithfully, allows me to adjust my preferred rhythm to the needs of the day. At the same time immersing myself in slow silence also helps me adjust the needs of the day to my own rhythm. Much to my amazement when I ground myself in that spiritual practice, the needs of the day and my needs accommodate one another.
When that happens, I experience flow–when one thing streams into another naturally and easily.
A Reminder
Sometimes I need a physical reminder, an illustration of what flow looks and feels like.
We spent the weekend at the home of friends who live in northern Minnesota, and one afternoon we cruised their beautiful lake. We were the only ones on the water, except for a few loons, who have not yet migrated.
My favorite part was going through a narrow and shallow channel to enter another lake. Our friend turned the motor down and guided the boat under the low bridge, reminding us to keep our hands inside the boat and to lower our heads.
How appropriate was that–to bow our heads as we crossed a threshold.
Pause and bow your head.
Rest in the silence.
Experience the flow.
Discover the rhythm.
Often when I lead a guided meditation instructing participants to breathe deeply in and out, I include the phrase, “find your own rhythm.” I think I need to add, “Feel the flow. Notice the flow around and through you.”
This morning when I closed my eyes, lightly, not tightly, and breathed in and out, gently and deeply, finding my own rhythm, I imagined the shallow water in that channel, and I remembered the feeling of unrushed, undemanding, gentle and yet noticeable flow.
Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
The Message, Matthew 11: 28-30
May I live my life that way.
An Invitation
When have you experienced flow? I would love to know.
I could not do one more thing. Well, of course, I could, but I would have done the next thing without focus or interest, inspiration, or energy.
The week had been full . Full of good interactions and scattered with productive writing time, but I was done, even cranky. Perhaps it was the unrelenting cold or the unrelenting pandemic, but I sagged and slumped.
Enter my Word of the Year: Rhythm.
Most of my weeks have a defined, steady rhythm. We begin the week attending church and adult forum, followed by going out for lunch where we read the New York Times. Early in the week I write both Tuesday and Thursday posts for this blog, and I prepare for the writing group I facilitate Thursday mornings at church. I tend to do the week’s grocery shopping that morning, too. Usually, on Friday or Saturday, my husband and I plan an outing–get in the car and roam.
The weeks vary depending on appointments with my spiritual direction clients and if one of the writing groups in which I am a participant is scheduled, and, now and then, there is time with friends or family. And, of course, there are the usual tasks–the laundry, the emails, the bills, the meal preparation, the home-tending. Oh, and writing time. This past week I worked on a piece to submit to a publication that has published my work in the past.
I begin my day meditating, praying, and writing in my journal, and later, I try to leave my desk by 4:00, giving myself some space to read before fixing dinner. In the evening we binge watch something on Netflix or Amazon Prime (Right now we are watching season 11 of “Vera” on BrittBox.) and read before going to bed.
By and large, these are good rhythms, but my word of the year invites me to pay attention. What rhythm calls me right now? What is the rhythm my body needs? My soul needs? Rhythm summons me to listen to my own heartbeat.
Instead of pressing on determined to check more off a list that seems to grow when my head is turned, I took a deep breath and asked, “What rhythm wants to be heard right now?”
REST. REST.
I turned off my computer, left my desk and the garret, even though it was hours before my normal 4:00 leave the office time, and I nestled in the snug with book, blanket, and a mug of hot cider. I read and I dozed. I listened to the rhythm pulsing gently around and through me, and I restored. And I gave thanks for being at a stage of life when it is possible to respond to rhythm’s invitation.
I know, appreciate, and allow my own rhythm. Each day I take some time to be in my personal rhythm.
Sue Patton Thoele
An Invitation:Do you have a word of the year? If so, how is it present in your life? I would love to know.
Crossing the threshold into the new year has been challenging for me this year. Normally, I tackle my list, completing or adjusting tasks from the previous year and eagerly moving forward on a list of intentions for the new year. This year I have done this and that, now and then, but without much energy or focus.
This is not my normal rhythm, and since “rhythm” is my word of the year, I am paying attention to this change in my pace.
I’m not the only one whose pace seems slower.
My camel, the one I rode to the manger in Bethlehem and who now is returning me home, is moving slowly. Very slowly. Why isn’t my camel moving faster, especially since we Wise Ones dropped off our gifts to the Holy Family and the load is lighter? I do realize that we are taking a different route home, in order to avoid Herod. The way is new to me and to my camel.
My camel has been a faithful servant and the days on the journey have been long and uncertain, and perhaps it is tired. I am tired, too. I am weary of living with the uncertainty of these days and the plans unmet and the need to be ever-vigilant and flexible and resilient. Perhaps you are feeling this way, too.
Thanks to one of Diana Butler Bass’s recent blogs, https://dianabutlerbass.substack.com/p/epiphany-now I remembered that Epiphany is not just the day the Wise Ones arrive at the manger, but rather Epiphany is a whole season that lasts until Ash Wednesday, which, this year is later than usual, March 2.
Therefore, I whisper to my camel as I pat its long neck, “No need to rush. Take your time. I trust we will get there when we get there, and who knows what amazing sights we will see along the way. Didn’t we see the brightest of stars at the beginning of our journey, and oh, how miraculous that was?
And who knows what dreams we will have when we stretch out under the expanse of the night sky and what thoughts will occur, as I rest in the slow and steady rhythm of your movement, dear camel companion.
This journey into the new year may be a new direction, but one that requires a kind of spaciousness and time to unfold. Perhaps this year ahead is one in which deeper clarity and understanding will emerge, bringing unexpected gifts. My task is to pay attention, to stay awake, but also to rest when overwhelmed or weary. I trust your ability to guide me and get me where I need to be. In your good time, dear camel companion.
An Invitation: What is your rhythm as you move into the new year?I would love to know.
Living on Life's Labyrinth 