February 6, 2024

Several times in the past week I have quoted Christina Baldwin‘s simple, but oh so wise words:

Ask for what you need and offer what you can.

from The Seven Whispers, Listening to the Voice of Spirit.

I don’t recall the specific circumstances when I shared those words, but I know when a piece of wisdom is on my lips that it is meant not only for the person receiving it, but it is for me, too! Probably most strikingly for me.

Offer What You Can

Recently, I received two emails about ways I have volunteered in the past at my church. One was fixing and bringing a meal to individuals and families during times of stress or need, and the other was about being part of the hospitality team, serving at receptions etc. Did I want to continue participating in those ways?

I didn’t respond immediately, but instead I considered both of those ongoing opportunities during the next couple morning meditation times. In the meantime a request addressed to the whole congregation came, asking for helpers during the potluck before the annual meeting. Also, the weekly newsletter, as always, listed a wide variety of ways volunteers are needed in the church and in the larger community.

Oh, how tempting it is to spontaneously say, “I can do that.” And sometimes that is exactly the right thing to do. Sometimes that is the most genuine of responses. An expression of being in the present moment.

But as I age I am more aware of what makes most sense for who I am now. What are the ways I am called to use my energy, my time, my gifts? How does saying “yes,” affect other “yeses” in my life? The answer isn’t always clear, but what I am learning is that I need to honor the main ways I have committed to serve; the ways I feel I can best serve right now. Writing posts for this blog twice a week is one way, but also meeting with my spiritual direction clients and preparing for and facilitating the writing group I lead at church.

I don’t list these activities in a “look at me” way, but rather to remind myself of the importance of knowing what I can offer, how I can live my essence and in what ways I continue to discover the person God created me to be. These ways may change, probably will change, as I grow older, which reminds me of what Esther De Waal says in the chapter, “Diminishment” in her book The White Stone, The Art of Letting Go, “I hope that God is going to work within my limitations.” p. 89.

How did I respond to the various requests? I decided to step away from the two specific queries, thanking the people who lead those efforts. I didn’t I step up to help with the potluck either, but perhaps my “not this time,” left space open for someone else to say, “Yes I can do that.” Just a thought. 

My plan and hope is to continue to exercise “sacred yes, sacred no;” to practice discernment as opportunities arise.

And finally, this must be said. I am aware more and more every day of the need to create spaciousness for time with family and friends.

Ask for What You Need

Well, I don’t know about you, but this is harder for me. Asking for what I need feels riskier. The notion of asking for what I need feels like I am declaring my inadequacy and vulnerability. EEEK! Baldwin says that asking for what we need is as much a spiritual practice as offering what you can. Asking for what we need is a way to pay attention, to be aware of the changes in our lives, and, in fact, it is part of becoming the person we were created to be. I often ask myself, “What is possible right now?” and sometimes the answer means asking for someone else and their gifts and time and energy to enter my life.

Baldwin says asking for what we need and offering what we can is a form of “spiritual trading” and that spiritual trading “creates flow.”

As long as the energy is flowing and cyclical, there is enough to go around. If any one of us stops asking or stops offering, the flow is disrupted and the balance destroyed.

p. 71

Be brave enough to ask fir help when you need it. There is no merit badge for Doing All the Hard Things Alone. Reach out.

Maggie Smith

An Invitation

How are Christina Baldwin’s words, “ask for what you need and offer what you can” showing up in your life right now? I would love to know.

Thanks!

Thanks for all your kind words about my recent guest essay, “Living with a Sacred Object, The Humble Harvest Table,” in Christine Valters Paintner’s Abbey of the Arts. If you haven’t yet read it or would like to share it, here is the link. https://abbeyofthearts.com/blog/2024/01/24/monk-in-the-world-guest-post-nancy-l-agneberg-4/