routines

Homecoming

/ nagneberg48 / 7 Comments

May 14, 2024

Wednesday evening we returned from a road trip visiting our son and daughter-in-love in Cleveland and then a few days roaming in Michigan. A good trip, for sure, but oh, how wonderful to open the front door of our home and proclaim to the House Gods, “We’re back.” That was at 6:00 pm and by 7:00 we had unpacked, bags put away and washing machine chugging with our dirty laundry.

We are good returnees. You see, for us being home is even better than returning home.

My husband and I are homebodies. No doubt about it.

My husband hometends–or should I say garden tends–and he has been communing in the garden most daylight hours since our return. He also hometends for others when he paints discarded furniture, giving each piece a new and even more creative life. In June he will have his annual garage sale, the fruits of his winter labors, and all proceeds go to support Lutheran Social Services programs for youth experiencing homelessness.

I’m the interior hometender —hometending as a kind of spiritual practice, which I have written about before in this blog. How glad I am that before we left on this recent road trip I pushed myself to leave the house “return ready.” I’m not quite the perfectionist, however, as a friend who vacuums herself out the backdoor into the garage when she leaves on a trip, but I do like knowing that a clean and welcoming home waits for me when I cross the threshold. Besides, there is always enough to do upon returning without needing to clean the bathroom.

I have also realized over the years that my work as a spiritual director is a kind of hometending, too. I help others know the home within; the home always available. That’s a subject for another post.

Reflections Upon Returning

Being away from home opens space for new thoughts and clarifying realizations, which sometimes crystallize once the bags are unpacked. For example, on this trip we discovered that we enjoy roaming on the way to a destination–in this case, our kids’ home–but as we head back towards home we just want to get home. Be home. We will remember this the next trip.

I also realized that even though we lived In Cleveland for 14 years ourselves, going there now is no longer about returning to where we once lived, but visiting where our kids live. This is their home, and we are their guests, enjoying Cleveland through their eyes and hearts. That feels like a shift.

Resuming Routines

The morning after our return my husband worked in the garden, and I grocery shopped and did a variety of other errands. Our normal routine is for each of us to do our own thing during the day, sharing the day’s events and thoughts with one another at suppertime. That works for us, and we eased right back into that pattern.

At the same time we are not quite the same people we were before we left on this road trip. Road trips change us, even if those changes are not immediately recognizable. We now hold new memories. We are now more aware of who we are now and what we most need to live fully right now. We bring deeper gratitude to these days, whether they are ones on the road or ones at home.

It is good to be home.

An Invitation

What are your routines when you return home? I would love to know.

What Are You Doing These Days? And Other Difficult Questions

/ nagneberg48 / 12 Comments

August 29, 2023

“What are you doing these days?”

“How’s your summer been?”

“Doing anything exciting? Traveling anywhere?”

At recent gatherings my husband and I have been asked these or similar questions. Twice I answered,
“We’re just boring old people.” That may be true, but we are not without interests and activities, and it is rare that I feel bored.

Why then is it so hard to answer the question? It is easier for me to share Bruce’s gardening at home and at church and his painting and then selling discarded furniture with proceeds going to Lutheran Social Services programs for homeless youth. And it is easier to share the activities of our grands–Maren’s semester in Greece this fall after working at Northern Lights Family Camp all summer and Peter’s recent hiking trip in the Rockies and now starting his sophomore year of high school and playing football.

Why is it so hard for me to share what I am doing? After all, I love what I am privileged to do.

Most of my days feel rich and full, so why am I uncomfortable sharing the ways I experience this time of my life?

I don’t have an easy answer, but I wonder if at least part of the answer is that what I do, I do most days. I read. I pray. I hometend. I pay bills. I go to Target. I watch yet another series on BritBox. I answer emails and go for walks. I spend time with friends and family and roam backroads with my husband. I go to church.

The stuff of life. The normal stuff of life. The movement from day to day.

I also meet with my spiritual direction clients and plan sessions for the weekly contemplative writing group at church and organize occasional events for Third Chapter, Spirituality As We Age, also at church. I write two posts every week for this blog and am always working on an essay to submit to various publications.

These activities are also the stuff of my life. The normal stuff of my life. The movement from day to day.

In that ongoing movement I try to pay attention and notice the movement of God.

That’s what I do with my days.

Perhaps I need to practice answering the question. I need to have an answer I can pull out of my back pocket–an answer that is simple and accurate, but in some way expresses the constellation of my life.

“Thanks for asking. Life is rich and full. How privileged I feel being able to do what matters to me. Yesterday, for example, I ….”

I love the familiar Annie Dillard quote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.”

Exciting days? Not so much. Big travel plans. Not really, except for our weekend rambles and our road trip to see our Cleveland kids in the fall. No, we are not going to Greece to visit Maren. This is her time, her adventure, and we will rejoice in what she shares.

Instead, we are living fully and deeply and joyfully in the stuff of each day.

An Invitation

How do you answer the “what are you doing?” questions? I would love to know.

Note:

One of the women in my personal writing group has just had an important article about the perils of wetlands published. I encourage you to read it. https://minnesotareformer.com/2023/08/25/u-s-supreme-court-has-put-precious-wetlands-in-peril/

My Morning Meditation Shift

/ nagneberg48 / 9 Comments

April 25, 2023

In a recent post https://wordpress.com/post/livingonlifeslabyrinth.com/1883 I documented how I rearranged furniture on the first floor of our home. Just because I felt like making a change. The most major of the changes was to move a desk, which I always refer to as my Lady’s Writing Desk, from the entry way into the snug. I confess I have rarely used this desk with all of its cubbies since we moved back to St Paul. Instead, I have almost exclusively used my desk in the garret.

Well, in its new location in the snug I find myself drawn to using it once again–not so much for writing blog posts or working on the content for the writing group I lead or for other writing projects, but perhaps for the use this desk was first intended: correspondence. Thank you notes and birthday and sympathy cards. And letters. This little desk is now stocked with note paper and stationary and favorite pens and stamps.

I love having a window on the world of our block, watching the neighborhood kids racing up and down the sidewalk and the dog walkers and joggers. Bruce even checks in with me much more than when I was tucked away in the garret.

I don’t like how the desk looks from outside the house looking in, but oh well.

In the past year I have worked hard to end my writing work life by 4:00 in the afternoon. I turn off the laptop and the lamp light and retire to the snug to read for awhile before fixing dinner. That is a good thing for me, but at the same time I have noticed a decrease in writing letters and other correspondence; something I have always enjoyed. I like writing at a desk, but if I return to the garret desk, I often end up working on other projects.

Because this desk is in the snug, I feel called to return to a part of my life that has given me so much pleasure in the past.

Another Change

Most mornings I head straight up to the garret, even before I get dressed, for my morning meditation time. I sit in the comfortable Girlfriend Chair, to pray, to meditate, to write in my journal, and to read sacred texts. During COVID when I wasn’t meeting in person with spiritual direction clients, I moved the chair into the larger space in the garret where I meet with most of my clients.

But guess what? My designated meditation chair in the garret is close, very close to my desk, and meditation often becomes muddled with work. Hmmmm.

In warm weather what I often do is walk first thing in the morning and move my meditation time into our Paris garden. But, alas, we have had one day of warm weather so far this month. and while the snow has finally disappeared and walking is possible, sitting in Paris is not. And who knows when that is going to happen.

While writing letters at my Lady’s Writing Desk on Saturday, I had one of those ah-ha moments, Why not start my day in the snug, instead of going up to my garret office right away. Another comfortable chair. Plenty of space to keep my meditation materials, and writing in my journal at a desk is much easier. And there will not be the temptation to answer email or dive into the day’s To Do list.

And it is a change. A change of scene often brings a change of perspective. A change shows me I can be flexible. A change often inspires creativity and problem solving, too. And, if it doesn’t feel right, I can easily move back into the garret.

And when I do go up to the garret later in the morning I will be ready to focus on my work.

So far, so good, but it has only been a couple days. Stay tuned!

Making changes doesn’t mean you’re not content. It means you’re paying attention.

Myquillan Smith

An Invitation

What change have you made recently that has enhanced your life? I would love to know.